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Nov. 26th, 2006






Why I choose to live this way:
Honestly, it's a goal. I'm an acting student, and since I'll probably have to travel to be successful, and my dedication to the theatre gets in the way of my relationships already anyway, I figure I might as well learn to live alone and be ok that way. This is especially difficult because I haven't been single for more than 8 months since i was 14. . . We'll see how it goes. But ideally I want to be the strong, single type - an enlightened, independent man.

When did this happen?:
I've sortof been working towards it for a year and a half - my ex really, really did a number on me.

Do you still "see" people in a non formal way?:
We'll see. . .

Are you sexually active?:
Yeah; I believe that going without sex is unhealthy.

Do the people around you know about your choice?:
Only my best friends know of this, my most bitter of bitter resolves.

How have you felt since you made this decision?:
Uncertain as to whether or not it will actually work. I don't like being alone at all right now.
Anything else?:
I'm just here to learn how to be single and happy that way. Hence, why I choose to be. So. Looking forward to talking to you all I guess. I hope people actually talk about things here. . .

Oct. 26th, 2006

SV: Oliver says don't mess with Chlollie


(no subject)

Name: Angie

Age: 26

Location: Central Illinois

Why I choose to live this way: The whole 'coupledom' has just never really appealed to me. I'm very independent and the thought of having to split my time doing things I want to do and things someone else wants to do is dreadful to me. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know.

When did this happen?: I've pretty much always felt this way.

Do you still "see" people in a non formal way?: Eh, not really.

Are you sexually active?: Nope.

Do the people around you know about your choice?: Yes and no. They know I'm not interested in being married and having kids, but they dont really understand it and think it's just a really long phase.

How have you felt since you made this decision?: I'm perfectly happy with it, though I'm always looking for ways to increase my happiness.

Anything else?: I work at a domestic violence shelter and I have two guinea pigs that I love. :P

Aug. 9th, 2006




I just ran across the community today, and I'm looking forward to some good mind-melding, friend-meeting, and good natured ranting! It's great to have a place to speak my mind...

And now, on with the show...


tragic1 is my handle on here. My real name is Francis, though some view it as an odd fit for me. I normally go by Frank, which is arguably an odder fit. Oh well.




Lockport, Illinois.

Why I choose to live this way:

The answer is kind of multi-faceted. Ready?

I don't think there's anything wrong with coupling or being single, or whatever. No matter how you live your life, you are trading one set of complications for another, as well as one set of rewards for another. People that are in relationships because they really want to be are stridently different than those who date because they wish to escape being alone. It's obvious, if you look.

I am a romantic at heart. At the same time, I'm a realist...I know the dangers of "settling", and I realize that whether or not you're good boy/girlfriend "material", your success in this arena is half choice and half chance. There is no guarantee you'll meet someone who is right for you, and the reverse is true.

Meeting someone wrong for you, however, is all too easy...

At the same time, my past experiences have gone from ambivalent to downright spectacularly bad, and that can serve to be daunting to even the most zen of folks. Not to mention the ratio of wheat to chaff is nothing short of withering, when you look at it.

And, truth be known, I haven't enjoyed dating very much at all.

Being single is a valid path. I walk it proudly. I am complete unto myself. I have a loving family, friends, and an active, busy life. You make your own happiness, single or otherwise.

When did this happen?:

While I've been single and taken at varying times in my life, this is probably the time when I've stayed single the longest. While I've always held my beliefs, it was only recently that I decided that it's time to let go of former dreams and to build new ones, with me fully at the helm.

I'm not going to say there isn't an element of fatigue with the entire situation, but hey. ;-)

Do you still "see" people in a non formal way?:

No, though I have lots of deep, platonic relationships.

Are you sexually active?:

I would normally see no reason why a single person couldn't persue a reasonable, healthy sex life, and normally I would. As long as honesty and compassion are the pillars of "friends with benefits" situations (far too often, people forget about the "friends" part), I can see this being very fulfilling.

Sadly, the prevalance of STD's had become nothing short of ubiquitous and terrifying. Most singles I meet have something, and while I certainly do not scorn them (I comfort when I can), I have no desire to contract anything myself. Protective measures are not as viable against certain viruses, and I would rather not risk my health.

Aside from that, I've seen far too many situations lead to a whole lot of drama...lack of which being one of the attractive things about the single lifestyle.

Far too often, a sexually active lifestyle is more trouble than it's worth.

Do the people around you know about your choice?:

Yes. A handful understand it perfectly, while most others regard it with confusion, or offer erroneous explanations - latent homosexuality (because gay people don't date or anything...I'm sure my gay and lesbian friends would get a kick out of this one), lack of confidance, "looking in the wrong places", etc...I've heard it all.

It couldn't be a choice or anything...

How have you felt since you made this decision?:

All emotions are naught but moments. I find my current state to be liberating...I am about as free as one gets. My life is my own, and in being strong in that life, I am far more able to be a giving friend to my loved ones. Ironically, I think this makes me a better boyfriend, too, should I meet someone amazing enough to show me that being in a couple will somehow be different than it has been in the past, different enough that I would choose to persue it.

I'm not holding my breath, though.


Anything else?:

A peaceful warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does.

--- Way of the Peaceful Warrior

Jun. 9th, 2006



I created this community and I hope you enjoy it here!

After I decided to live my life in this way I looked around for others who are like me, and I found no sort of community for this.  Typing in "no dating", and "single by choice" into google just fed me back a stream of dating sites.

Right now this community is open membership, but eventually I would like to set it up so that members vote in potential members - not as a rating community but so that all of our members are on the same page as far as this community goes.  I guess we will discuss this later.

So if you decide to join why not fill out a little survey to introduce yourself?  I am going to make this mandatory for membership so that I can keep track of active users and such.  I don't want a lot of people lurking.

Name: (Fake or otherwise)
Location:  (as specific or non as you like)
Why I choose to live this way:
When did this happen?:
Do you still "see" people in a non formal way?:
Are you sexually active?:
Do the people around you know about your choice?:
How have you felt since you made this decision?:
Anything else?:

As always, you can make your survey friends only if you don't want the world to be able to read it....

November 2006



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